I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
