What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
