What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
