Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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