i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize