Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
