I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
