so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
