You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
