You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
