What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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