Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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