Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
