Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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