im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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