this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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