So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
