im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I want a musical about memes.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
