I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
