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• (714): View more from California

  Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant

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• (343): View more from Ontario

  STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  I love watching others lives come down to our level.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that

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• (914): View more from New York

  the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.

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• (323): View more from California

  I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.

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• (619): View more from California

  I just realized u compared me to a coconut

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