If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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