i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
