I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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