Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
The air was thick with penises
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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