The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
