peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
