sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
