Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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