I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So much Jack, so little girl.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
