id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
