I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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