Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
