I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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