Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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