Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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