Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
