I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
