So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
