I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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