We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
