Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So much rum. So many feels.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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