i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
