She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
