So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
