my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
