3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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