elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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