based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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