Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize