Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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