Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
