I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
