Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize