i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize