So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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