You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just want to make out with him forever
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
