do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Can you bring me the toilet please
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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