One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
