Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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