It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
