I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
